Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Network Marketing = Pyramid Scheme

Below is the text of an online chat I had with a Mona Vie Customer Sales Rep after trying unsuccessfully to buy the product without having a sponsor. Granted, I was a little flirtatious, but I was single at the time and trying to keep from getting bored.

me: i found you on the web, not through a distributor. i would like to join but your website asks for a sponsor id. i am my own sponsor as my own research led me to your site. 

You are now speaking with Cathy of Autoship / Distributor Support.

me: hi cathy

Cathy: Welcome to Live Support, and thank you for choosing MonaVie. My name is Cathy, and I'll be assisting you.

me: i am my own sponsor as no one told me about you. i found you on my own

me: how do i signup

Cathy: we can find you a sponsor.

me: okay, but i should really be my own sponsor.

Cathy: What is your zip code?

me: 90402

me: why can't i join on my own. you will be giving the sponsor credit for something they didn't do

Cathy: This is how it works. It is a binary system. Each person who joins the company has a "sponsor" or someone they are under. Once you sign up as a distributor you will also be able to sign up people under you, making you their sponsor.

Cathy: I have an awesome sponsor in California for you.

Cathy: They will help you get started. I will have them call you. Unless you would like me to sign you up right now.
me: how many total distributors are there with mona vie?

Cathy: 85000 active distributors
me: in california and in the U.S?

Cathy: MonaVie is in 5 different countries.

me: 85000 is a lot..

me: are you in CA

me: if you sign me up right now, would you be my sponsor?

Cathy: Corporate is 
located in Utah.

Cathy: I would love to sponsor you. However, I work for corporate but I can put you under a great sponsor.

me: who's the sponsor?

me: do you have a sponsor?

Cathy: Are you trying to sign me up? You've caught the spirit of MonaVie already.

me: of course i am

me: what do you say?

Cathy: :)

me: great, so you'll be my first sign up - my right hand woman, so to speak

Cathy: You'll do awesome in this company. Let's put you under an awesome group.

me: great, so can we sign up your parents and siblings too

me: i'm a great guy, 5'11, athletic, handsome, well-educated, and single

Cathy: My mom is single.

me: what about you?

Cathy: Age?

Cathy: nope, sorry. i'm taken already

me: 34

me: any sisters?

me: or girlfriends?

Cathy: Too young for you. Anyway, back to business.

Cathy: Lets get you signed up.

me: your mom is too young for me - wow, how old are you? there are child labor laws you know

Cathy: No, my sisters. Let me get your information and we'll sign you up.

me: how about your girlfriends?

me: i like utah

Cathy: Let me get your information and we'll sign you up.

me: my birthday is march 21 and i liked the movie borat, what more info do you need?

me: first day of spring is a cool birthday you know

Cathy: I'll have someone call you if you will give your phone number

me: can they email me

Cathy: okay, that's fine.

me: that's right, do you like poems

me: do you have a photo?

me: i like to see who i'm dealing with at corporate?

Cathy: Thanks. I'll have someone email you tomorrow Wessss 
. I hope you turn out to be
the Besssst.

Cathy: And yes, I do like poetry.

Cathy: Have a great night.

me: that's what my momma always said

me: what's your favorite poem?

Cathy: It has been my pleasure assisting you today. Thank you for contacting MonaVie.

We appreciate your continued support. Please contact Distibutor Support again with future needs.

me: i like billy collins and rumi and hafiz myself - oh, and pablo neruda

me: that looks like a copy and paste, where's the personal touch cathy

Cathy: Enjoy your day! Goodbye.

Cathy: :)